Estate Planning Jokes for April’s National Humor Month
Last April I linked to a few humorous videos.
Here are some short estate planning jokes (none are mine, but I have no clue where some of these originated to provide source credits):
Women are so much better at estate planning then men
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment club meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.
Three days later, Dan had a stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
Elementary School Math
Mrs. Agren, a 5th grade math teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.
Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Mikey raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Mikey for his answer.
With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Mikey answered, “A lawyer!”
A couple left their attorney’s office after meeting to discuss the preparation of their Wills. On the drive home, the following conversation takes place:
Husband: You know honey, I’ve been thinking. If I die, I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to get remarried.
And, really, there’s no reason for you to sell the house; so it’s ok if you and your new husband live in our house.
And come to think of it, we have two fine cars, so I wouldn’t have a problem with him driving my car.
In fact, I wouldn’t have a problem with him using my tools, my fishing rods or our lawnmower.
There’s just one thing that would bother me. I just don’t want him using my golf clubs. That would be too much for me, so just sell them in a garage sale, OK?
Wife: I wouldn’t worry about that honey. He’s left-handed.
A doctor, a priest and a lawyer…
A wealthy old man summons to his bedside his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. “They say you can’t take it with you, but I’d like to have something with me, just in case. So I am giving each of you an envelope containing $100,000 in cash and I would be grateful if at my funeral you would put the envelopes in my coffin.” They each agree to carry out his wish.
At the old man’s funeral, each of the three advisors slips something into the coffin. As the three are walking away together, the doctor turns to the other two and says, “Friends, I have a confession to make. At the hospital we are desperate for a CAT SCAN machine, so I took $20,000 of our friend’s money for a new machine and put the rest in the coffin as he asked.”
The priest admits, “I, too, have a confession to make. I took $50,000 for our homeless fund and put the rest in the coffin as our friend requested.”
The lawyer righteously replies, “I am astonished that you would treat so casually our undertaking to our friend. I want you to know that I placed in his coffin my personal check for the full $100,000.”
Happy National Humor Month!